Did you know that a small circle of powerful men get to decide what rights you have in Arkansas? We missed that section of the Constitution (because it’s not there) but that’s okay, they don’t care about the Constitution anyway. Let’s call these fellows the “broligarchy.”
This group of men includes, but it is not limited to, the following gentlemen: Secretary of State Cole Jester, Attorney General Tim Griffin, Senate President Bart Hester, Senator Josh Bryant, Deputy AG Nathan Lee, and consultant Chris Caldwell.
Why call it a broligarchy and not just an oligarchy? Because while this illustrious crew does do everything an oligarchy would do – hoard power, abuse their positions, trample on the rights of us poor folks in Arkansas, you get the gist – it does with the unrestrained glee and attitude you might find in, say, a fraternity house circa 1999.
Jester’s Joke
On our sister website, we already did a deep dive into Secretary Jester’s absolute joke of a review of the 108,000 signatures turned in for Protect AR Rights. PAR followed the process to get a constitutional amendment on the November ballot that would prevent politicians from messing with our right to propose new laws and update our own constitution.
What we didn’t have at the time were texts between Jester and, apparently, one of his buds.
Man, isn’t denying people their legal rights just so totally epic, dude?? Far out. I’m imagining some high fives over some brewskis with the boys, aren’t you?
Bryant Thinks It’s Cool To Keep Secrets From You
Next we have Sen. Josh Bryant, who thinks all this stuff about economic development is too hard for Arkansans to understand. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported over the weekend that he and other legislators asserted legislative privilege They want to avoid a deposition regarding the Governor’s absurd maneuvering over Chinese-owned companies in the state.
His justification, and I quote, is that “sometimes it’s best not to see how the sausage is made or how the kitchen gets cleaned.” Bryant, apparently, is channeling the bro in your Intro to Biology class who keeps talking over everyone and making the class miserable because the teacher can’t actually, you know. Teach. He’s patting you on the head and saying “there there, silly Arkansan. You don’t need to worry about any of this stuff behind closed doors, that’s too hard for you.”
We have a little bit more trust in our fellow Arkansans, Senator, but you do you. Arkansans have shown up for transparency over and over again, so you might want to reconsider your stance!
Boom! Griffin Does EPIC Takedown on Totally Innocent Company!
Speaking of Gov. Sander’s absurd and corrupt targeting of Chinese-owned companies, Tim Griffin has a good one for you. Upon being notified that one of his assistants used a subpoena to scare away a title company looking to buy property, Griffin had just one word to say: “Boom.”
Totally rad use of state power to threaten private companies trying to do business in the state, Timmy! Super cool. Boom, baby.
Anyway, the company is now suing the state. Boom, Tim! Great use of our tax dollars, yet again walking us into a stupid lawsuit.
Finance Bro Hester Knows That Money Grows on Trees, Trust Me Bro
Bart Hester said “trust me, bro” when asked how the state would pay for the quickly-expanding LEARNS school vouchers. It soon won’t be able to, but that’s fine in Hester’s view. When asked about the ballooning cost, he shrugged and said “If it goes up $100 million a year, so it does.”
Who’s paying for that, Bart??? We don’t have money to help pregnant women give birth safely, we don’t have money to feed our kids, we don’t have money to protect our natural spaces, but yeah, we apparently have an extra $100 million laying around.
This is finance!
Anyway, here’s the point. It’s partly to make fun of the goofy way these guys talk, but it’s to point out that we really don’t want meatheads like this joking around in their important offices. They’re there to do a job for us. It is called public service. Do you think guys that treat rights as a joke running things? The highest bro in the country right now is Pete Hegseth, and that guy can’t even feed our troops. I think we deserve some focus and professionalism, don’t you?
